Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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