why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
