yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
