I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
