I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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