Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
