Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
