Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
