don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
