No stitches, just platelets and will power
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
