So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
