There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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