So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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