well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
it was like having sex with a tree stump
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
