Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
