so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
