he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
