I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
