This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
