please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
