Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
