Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
