I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
