What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
