Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
