thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
