I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
