I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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