I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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