Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
