just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have fence marks all over my body
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
