I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
