he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
