We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
