dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
