I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
