i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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