are you still at the devil's house?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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