New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dear god my vagina.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
