is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
