Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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