Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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