why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
