my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
