the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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