Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
