Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
