I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
