member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
