Girls should come with a carfax report
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
